...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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