Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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