Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
