He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
