You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
