No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
