Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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