Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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