I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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