I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize