Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
