im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize