I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
