question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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