i would punch a child for taco bell
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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