She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize