k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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