I wish I only lived at night.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
