We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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