you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
