am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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