We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
