I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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