i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize