We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we're making bets on your personal life
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
