I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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