So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You're a waste of cheezeits
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
