Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
