I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
