Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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