So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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