I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
