well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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