why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
