Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
