just tell him i said nine months
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
