we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
