Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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