He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
