So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
