Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I love having hate sex.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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