Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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