I'm drive I can fine osifer
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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