Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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