There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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