I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize