My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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