oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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