i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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