oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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