Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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