I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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