Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
